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I wished I could get back into the mindset I was in when I was on top of her, making love to her. I wished I could just be into it. I was fucking a gorgeous woman whom I loved to no end. But I also had been tricked, and, by some peoples definition, abused. I didnt feel that way, but this was so much information all at once. Processing it all on top of losing my virginity in such an intense way was jacking my heart-rate. I didnt want to go back into the living room. I didnt want to talk to Laura. If I had to, I wished we could do it somewhere else. I got out of the shower, but kept the water flowing. I found the cigarettes that I kept underneath the sink, taped to the top of the cabinet because Im incredibly paranoid of my mom finding out I smoke. I got back into the shower. I smoked the cigarette while the water hit my back and I blew the smoke right up into the vent. It made it easier to think. I also smiled at the cliche of smoking right after having sex. Okay. I need to not. I believed that I loved.I believe none of those things now.I have been married for 10 years to the most wonderful woman I have ever known. Our life together had been good. She didn't deserve what I did to her.Up until three days ago I wouldn't have thought it possible that I could betray her. That I could make her sob. That I could push her down the slopes of hell. I never thought that I would do anything but spend my life with her, growing old and gray together, hand in hand.Until I met Lorie.My job is a sales rep, and I made an appointment with a local company to visit and tell them how what I had to sell would improve their business. My sales have been flagging since the economy went on a downward spiral, and I prepared my best pitch, hoping my luck would turn.I was ushered into her office, and she greeted me with a smile. She was attractive, and I put her age in her early thirties. She was a cute blonde, with her hair cut stylishly short. She wore the typical uniform of.
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